The FABULOUS Reality!
by RogueMoon
Summary: Humor of Earth- 1094: The Fabulous Reality! Dribbles and Drabbles and one-shots taking place in a humor based reality. Each 'chapter' is a different story. Totally AU : Disclaimer: I own none of the characters, including the random OC's.
1. The X Factor!

**The X-Factor!**

Written by RogueMoon

AU: Earth 1094, the FABULOUS Reality

Based on a question posted on The Gambit Guild forums

*****000*****

She had been waiting months for this day. Since the moment her eyes had settled on that wonderful little gift tucked neatly into a soft red silk cushion that in turn was guarded by a black velvet covered gift box. It was all so elegant. All so perfect as she thanked Scott with the biggest hug and most passionate kiss she had ever given him, tears pouring down her cheek, saying 'yes' over and over again until she couldn't breathe.

The brunette in sunglasses had gotten a free pass on every blunder or screw up following that day. All he had to do was change the subject and ask how the plans were coming along and the red-head's eyes would glaze over, her anger and hurt forgotten in an instance as she started to giggle and talk about what she and the girls would be wearing.

She knew it was manipulative of him. She was a mind-reader after all. But she didn't care. It wasn't like this event happened every day in a woman's life.

She took a deep breath, smoothing her white, silk dress with one hand while clutching Ororo's with her other for support. The grin of excitement never leaving her face as Rogue and Kitty pushed the large double doors open so she could enter.

He stood there, near the back, waiting for her. One well manicured eyebrow raising in appreciation as she stepped forward, Ororo letting her go and falling in behind her with the other two as she slowly walked forward, blushing deeply.

He took her hand when she got near enough too, bringing it up and kissing her knuckles as he swept her forward. Her knees nearly giving out on her. The other three moved off to one side, watching with just as much excitement. Her head felt light, dizzy, as he ran his hands through her hair, murmuring appreciation in a soft, low voice.

She could have melted right then as he turned with her and led her to the sinks. Sitting her down and leaning her back, his hands once more returned to her hair. His fingertips like heaven come down to caress her scalp as the warm water poured through it. Deft hands. Experienced hands.

Scott would be getting a pass on his stupidity for a long time after this as well.

He pulled her forward, his honeyed voice warm like a southern afternoon tea, whispering in mixed French and English. A towel wrapped gently around her head. It warmed as those hands, those experienced wonderful hands, moved the cloth to keep any excess water from dripping past her neck.

He made her stand again, red on black eyes, half-lidded with obvious pleasure at her own glazed look of satisfaction smiling down at her. Another short walk and she was seated in a soft leather chair, like a queen upon a throne.

Another cloth was wrapped around her. Black and silky, covering her dress and body from any red hair that would fall.

More murmers of appreciation about her hair. How soft and beautifully red it was. And what would she like him to do to her today? Said with a hint of induendo and lick of his sultry lips.

She shivered and giggled like a love-struck school girl, shyly replying a hushed 'anything'.

Anything? Oh how his eyes, his face, his body moved in playful response as he ran his fingers through her waist length tresses.

A giggled, almost naughty mm-hmm was her only response as her three friends snickered behind her, watching the man in action. He turned around and flashed a smile at them and it was their turn to imitate young women with their first crush.

He reached over to his table, eyes back on the lucky woman who now held his full attention as he began brushing and separating sections of her damp hair. She shut her eyes and abandoned herself to the touch. Minutes passed, perhaps hours. She didn't know and didn't care.

His hands brushed, snipped and tugged gently at her crimson glory. Shaping it, remaking it. Turning her hair into a work of art.

Lean forward he requested, open your eyes he requested, tell me what you think so far he requested.

She shivered at his breath on her ear, her grin so wide it hurt and still she couldn't stop. She loved it of course. Everyone loved what he could do.

He talked about curling it some, at the ends, giving it a bit more bounce just around her face, perhaps a waterfall layer cut.

Anything you want was the reply. It always was and he always grinned, purring his flirtly little phrases into her ear causing her cheeks to match the color of her hair.

He picked up a plain metal bar, rolling her hair around it like a curling iron. His fingers holding it deftly in place as it started to glow a soft magenta color and she could feel the heat build. The charge dissapeared and the metal bar moved to another part of her hair, leaving a beautiful bounce of curls to graze her left cheek. Again and again, he did this, his movements slow and sensual.

And all too soon it was over. He had made her into a goddess. Aphrodite's essence swimming through her hair as it swayed bounced with every movement she made.

He removed the black cloth in a single motion, like a magician brandishing a cape. He spun the chair around and bowed to her, offering her hand to help her stand. She did so and he kept hold of her fingers long enough to give them another kiss. She almost died in pleasure.

She was reluctant to leave, staring at his creation in the mirror and indulging in a light skimming of her friends minds to find the jelously she knew they had to be feeling as they oo'd and aw'd over how lucky she was.

Scott had wisely spent a good grand on the appointment with the most saught after hairdresser in the U.S. It took almost six months for a new client to get on the list. And another six for a time slot to open up. She didn't know how he had gotten her on the list, much less how he knew that such a gift would be so well recieved.

And she didn't care.

She was the only one on the team to have ever had Remy LeBeau do their hair. She had gotten on a list of clients that numbered in the low hundreds. She was the most envied woman amongst all the girls in the mansion.

Scott was getting the best sex of his life as soon as she got home.

*****000*****

End


	2. Mythbusters!

**Mythbusters!**

Written by RogueMoon

AU: Earth 1094, the FABULOUS Reality

Based on a totally random conversation with Nicole Wagner

*****000*****

Remy Entinne Essex-LeBeau, famous the world over for his creations in hair design, owner of the exclusive salon 'The Gambit', and ranking as Cosmo's number one most eligible bachelor three years running, had no idea how family could make him feel so incredably worthless. There he was, successful, attractive, making his mark on the world... and his family was ignoring him completely. Engrossed in a Mythbuster's marathon. He could blow up stuff easier than the two flatliners and with more style. But no... his pere and soeur wanted to watch the humans do it.

"Oooo! They're going blow up a plane!" The uncharacteristicly giddy voice of Nathaniel Michael Essex was accompianied by the eager shriek of his daughter, Alisa Brex Essex-LeBeau.

"I can blow up a plane," Remy muttered.

"Shush boy," his father replied with a frown, waving at him to go away.

Alisa snickered, "De dummy looks like Remy... but smarter!"

"'Least I ain' still a virgin!" Remy grumbled, shuffling some cards as he scrunched down on the couch. Really, was it so much to ask that his family pay him some attention when he finally had the free time to come visit?

Doctor Essex, a.k.a. 'Mr. Sinister' – a name taken as his nom de gurre for a series of dystopian science fiction where mutants were outcasts of society and feared and hated by the world – patted his daughter on the head and flipped out a platnium card, "I'm so proud of you Alisa. You stay a virgin forever and never let a man touch you. Here's a credit card, buy yourself something nice." His eyes didn't stray from the television, "As for you, Remy. Go... smoke a cigarette or something. Not in lab."

Alisa took the credit card and bolted out the door while Remy crossed his arms and pouted. Oh, if the world could see him like this...

"Seriously, pere," he muttered, waving at the screen. "We can do a much better job wit' dese myths. Pick one, any one, and we could do it wit' more style and flare."

"But it wouldn't be the same as watching them do it, Remy," Essex replied with exasperation. His son simply didn't understand.

Alisa popped her head back through the door, "Daddy! I bought some plutoninum! It'll be delivered tomarrow, is there any room for it?"

The show went to commercial and Nathaniel smiled at his little girl, "We can always make room, dear."

Remy huffed and Sinister shot him a frown, "My boy, you are not a child anymore. Do stop acting like one."

"Neither is Alisa, but you butter her up like a Christmas Turkey."

"That is simply not true. Alisa is eighteen, clearly still a child."

The red-eyed thief of hearts gave his father an incredulous look, one eyebrow raised, "Ya do know a body is legaly an adult at Eighteen?"

Sinister waved the comment away, his attention back on his show, "Legality and reality are vastly different animals, Remy. Get to blowing up the plane, already!"

"Are they blowing it up, yet?" Alisa's voice echoed into the room.

"No!"

"Call me when they do!"

"Yes, dear!"

Remy shook his head, "She got ya wrapped around her little finger, pere."

"Shush boy, Daddy's watching Mythbusters."

*****000*****

End


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